Defragmentation and Factory Restore
Great report MGS! Thank you for taking the time to share. Life tends to leave a big pile of drama at your doorstep when it's least convenient. I hope things get cleaned up soon for ya.... ...EITHER WAY, keep taking the time to smell the roses, whatever that means for you. For me, it was being very active here, and a few other behavioral changes and cognitive paradigm shifts. Keep us posted on how you are doing. It's great to feel such a vibe from someone you have never met before, and to care so much that they are starting to SEE Thanks for sharing this music too. I also never thought I would like this music. It is like it comes from the heart of the root itself. Ineffable trance induction, Iboga brain surgery music.
It certainly is! Thank you for this wonderful report, glad you are doing well and I look forward to reading more roxine
I like the year marker. 365 days. 1 full loop around the sun. All 4 seasons.... Massive integration is key to success. The thing with "Factory Restores" is that you usually need to play the game a different way in order to prevent further resets (the ordeal of Iboga therapy), develop new routines, patterns, etc. When the time is right MGS, and if you feel so inclined, I know the 'Staying Clean' board loves when Ebokians share about their discoveries, tools, exercises, of living clean lives post flood. Peace and Love Morningglory. It's wonderful to have you here!
Great report bro. Keep posting back about your journey. We're all in this together.
• I cannot smoke a cigarette. I still enjoy a puff from a pipe or smoking tobacco from a one-hitter but I have tried my own hand rolled (and expensive) tobacco and a friend’s Camels…and the results were the same….the taste nearly made me puke. Never expected this or even wanted it, but now it is so. No more tobacco smoking for MGS, save for a puff from a pipe. IMHO this is our most dangerous addiction and this definitly is good news for all us nicotine fiends....
Between going to a doc--->pharmacy for pain pills regularly, and killing myself systemically with cigarettes, I never felt more like another brick in the wall. I am cigarette free almost 4 months now. I still "require" the patch. I have been on the last step (7mgs) for awhile. Some folks in the medical community are starting to extend the period of time recommended to wear the patch because the benefit of not smoking daily is arguably greater than wearing the patch for a few extra weeks. I am having conscious breakthroughs almost daily starting from opening up my mind with giving up these two demons......the lifestyle that I am creating is the integration. Once you tune into your own frequency (which IMHO takes a decalcified pineal gland), you will explore your life with less fear. You will get "high" off of the NOW. First and foremost, thanks again for the report. Writing about it is great for you and for the global consciousness. I agree with you on many levels. I read so much about Iboga and had many preconceived notions as to what the experience would be like. I was totally wrong. Now, I have flooded 4 times total. Each time was almost completely different. My last flood was the mother of all floods, I touched god (and I took the least amount of Iboga on that one). The misconceptions about Ibogaine are ridiculous if that's how you choose to define it. I felt the same way at first when I had a "Is this plant really working" thinking going on. Now, I realize I know almost nothing about this plant. I would venture to guess, I know a little more than you at this point. You are quite opinionated for having such little experience with the sacrament (not saying that I am not, or was not as opinionated as you after my first flood). Here is the one thing we do know: 1.) Iboga is indeed a potentially dangerous medicine. People have died, likely MANY more than have been reported. More people have died from cigarettes I would guess, but the information that Iboga is potentially dangerous is important for social and evolutionary purposes.... I do appreciate what you have done here, explaining to people that they need to be aware of the fact that there is more subjective anecdotal information than hard facts information out there. In the end, you end up surrendering yourself completely, and it is ridiculous for you to say: "Certainly 300ug LSD causes way more 'unreality' than even 1 1/4g ibogaine hcl." Just because you didn't believe this to be true for your first flood, does not mean that it is beneficial for you to make such a statement like this on a public forum. When I met Mr. Iboga and traveled through dimensions/scenes/future/past... it felt pretty "unreal." (And I have experienced pure LSD) Information is the true medicine! Everything starts with a thought.....so be careful with what you think you know, and what you publish on the internet. Because from my POV, you are doing exactly what you are telling other people not to do, what discourages you, the "inaccurate" information. I understand the emotional charge you have having gone through it myself to maybe a lesser degree, but I know I would be more receptive to these types of statements if you humbled yourself a bit with an IME, IMHO, etc. Words are dead. Your definition of "unreality" as you put it, may completely differ from another's due to your discrepancies in lives! We define these "words" and "concepts" through experience. Although I do agree with a lot of your conclusions, I am showing you your level of consciousness. There is only more to grow amigo! Journey well! I apologize if I missed this in your earlier reports: Do you meditate or do yoga? How often if so?
I'd go with ravenwing on that one. I see it isnt you bluetiger responding but the iboga plant spirit in you. The iboga plant spirit wants more and more souls - and does not want accidents. And the sternness comes out. On the flip side - like morningglory said there is a lot of scaremongering on here. Upto 1.25 grams of ibogaine HCL or otherwise, if you aren't an addict is a reasonably easy ride. If non addicts can name an experience where they had a 'bad trip' with 1.2-1.5 grams I will definitely stand corrected. But again, my point here, is that we should be encouraging more people to do the Iboga. Safely. 1.2 grams is well within safe limits. egokiller has a very informative post on here, and is a good warning. but it must also be known that he was withdrawing AND also had a relatively elephant dose of 3.4 grams TA plus HCL. Thats a crazy 48 mg/kg dose as opposed to the standard 15-18 mg/kg flood recommendation (for those who recommend it - others go gung ho on safety and don't even do that, and are wildly anti dose recommending (?!! - sure, everyone's different, but but.. ) and don't give the ones starting out almost any dose recommendations, sure everything's different for everyone. But at least a ball park figure to help them out - otherwise with the intention of safety, the exact opposite can be achieved). I'm a thug, and hit myself with heavy doses of pretty much everything. And I missed out on my flood last time, but next time around I want to have a flood I wont even have half that dose. 1.5-1.8 grams max (even with a sitter). Then I'll gradually build upto 2 or 2.2. I don't think I'll ever have more than 2.5 (if I do, I'd like it to be known in advance that I'll be a crazy mofo to be doing that . ravenwing was honest, and shared his thoughts. If we have different thoughts based on our experiences, we should say so, but respectfully, just like the iboga teaches us to. I'm not saying you were disrespectful in any way, but there is an overwhelming harshness on the board when it comes to dosages, and safety. Often without clarity helping it along. Which is often a recipe for disaster. Also, I dont think he said anything beyond 1.25 grams TA is equivalent to 300 mcg of acid. All our sharing is research - and adds to the general pool of information. I think iboga should be a credible source of clear info. NOT angry retorts towards people like dustrust, ravenwing, tanya, myself even when i first asked for advice (I can add a lot more names to the list); not having clear cut recommendations at least for the lower end of the dose; cautions for anything higher than 1.5 g TA even with an experienced sitter. As we've seen with people higher doses doesn't give people more of an experience, more and more people say they had their best experiences or strongest experiences on some of their lower doses. I think it's the indiscriminate high dose experimentation that should be discouraged, rather than newbies being intimidated and the end result being them being too scared to ask for questions, and even if they did answer questions - they wont get any straight answers. Which doesnt really help anyone here. At the end of the day we are a family. We ought to be telling the children to stay on the lower side of the dose, and telling the crazy children not to mess around with higher doses and make some poor sitter shit bricks for no fault of their own. As much as we have a responsibility to our sitters, we have one towards them too, and ourselves. If doctors and anesthesiologists said lets take pot luck, we have medications (i.e. sitters) backing us up if things go wrong, why should we have clear cut dosages, everyone is different, let each anesthesiologist read around on forums and come to their own conclusions and then decide dosages on their gut feelings - there would be uproar, and rightly so. But I ramble - I really would like to see a tiny change in the way newbies are spoken to. And the way safety considerations are discussed on here.
If you knew me you would know that I am a creature of love! A subjective existence will always leave room for miscommunication. Iboga, you are my family. If you would like to see a "change" I am very open to hearing that. vividmeadow80, read my post again. The undertone is harsh and in your face like the Iboga reflection, but see this time if you see this "problem" you speak of again in my post....I thanked MGS many times and commented on the value of his post. I never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable to ask a question....ASK AWAY!!!! But you will hear my voice when it comes to showing people how their perspective can change overtime, with experience, that's all. I could go into the whole dosing talk but it bothers me to do so. People don't get that 1 gram 98% pure HCL extracted in a real lab setting is not the same as that same gram at 60% pure extraction done in a kitchen at home. A night an day difference. Kind of like the large difference in people's health conditions. There is a large amount of variables here and it is almost impossible to give dosing opinions without knowing about the source and the person. It's just irresponsible IMHO. In the end, I am only trying to connect with anyone who reads this! I can take criticism, when I know it's from love. That's all I really want to convey, is that I am nothing but an ocean of love amigos! Laughter and peace to you both! May we continue to create the warm and loving home that Iboga has become to so many of us. Blue
sorry - I have to disagree with you on some of your points zing. First off, 1.25g of hcl is not 100% sure a safe dose for me and I'm not an addict. What you call scaremongering is actually prudent advice. In the end no one can force anyone to actually take that advice. Nevertheless, I would much rather err on the side of being cautious particularly with a newbie. Until someone has actually taken Iboga, you just don't know how they are going to respond. Search this forum and see how many people have accidentally flooded on a test dose, had major vision trials on a microdose etc etc etc etc. Then there are folks like Grateful Dead who can eat it like ice cream - go figure. I'd like to see newbies approach the forum with a little more respect instead of coming on strong like they know it all then getting all pissed off because they didn't get the validation/blessing they wanted/expected - 'tis the other side of the same coin n ést ce pas? You wouldn't expect a parent to say sure child, go play with that stick of dynamite, so long as its a small piece you should be OK.
Before this forum, I learned of iboga thru books and according to one of them "Narcotic Plants" by William Emboden. On page 71 he says "Three hundred to eight hundred grams of crude root bark may be consumed by one individual(!) in the course of a day,...." Seems like more than a pound! Also "Initiates into the Bwiti cult are given forty to sixty times the normal amount of root bark ingested by cult members. This introduction results in vomiting, loss of motor coordination, and sometimes death. Deaths are taken to be a divine will intervening; the initiate was not prepared. Sick members of the cult may also be given these excessive doses in order to help them divine the source of their illness and know of it's outcome." I have found mistakes in his book but interestng nevertheless. If he is correct tho that would make the LD50 of iboga quite high. bwiti
Bluetiger - you're a beautiful beautiful soul entheo - it's the Iboga in me that's ANGRY (capital letters) at the lack of clarity. It's the same Iboga that speaks through voices of the elders on the foum when they speak of safety. Start small build up. You havent even had close to a 1.25mg dose to speak of ite. Hehe, lets see you put your money where your mouth is and have significantly less than that 1.25 mg or 13-18mg/kg for a flood dose (HCL or TA equivalent). With this specific topic, its the Iboga sternness in me again re: the dosing. Me - I'd just let it slide and let people find their own way. Respectfully start small, and make modest improvements. I've never really cared too much about other people and the doses they have. Whether it's acute or chronic alcohol consumption or any other drug. Couldn't care less in fact - different folks, different strokes. But the Iboga is Driving me to point or at least write a post that clarifies a lot of thinking. So at least when a newbie comes on here, he has something SAFE to work with. Rather than wide ranges. Microdosing to introduce the iboga with flooding dose at 13-18mg/kg max is about as safe and as floodworthy as I can get to (with a sitter - but again, not to use the sitter as an excuse to megadose, as thats not the sitters job to have to deal with megadose madness where anything can happen and has been known to occur.). And staggered dosing to work the iboga in even more safely. You want to flood and Im sure you will stay between those ranges. If not, you'll have good reason not to. If less, you might not hit the flood, if more then thats foolhardy for a first timer unless its with a knowledgeable sitter, and even then I wouldnt hazard it as its a first flood should be treated as a test dose (in addition to the microdose test doses). yohimb - I think the LD50 is a widely variable consideration with Iboga. I'm on the side of staying safe. No megadose madness for me thank you. Its playing with dynamite. Today's 5-8g megadose might not kill someone, but who knows about the next one. Dont abuse the presence of a sitter. Safety first. Like we've seen with several people's experiences - more isn't always better. Please excuse any harshness of my tone if I come across as having any - not my intention, and it is the Iboga in me talking. PS I looked again, and am comfortable with my tone. But if there still is any harshness, please forgive me in advance.
As you said later in your post, words deceive us. And certainly here my choice of words was poor, I should have used 'ego loss' and not 'unreality.' On my 'flood' dose I was literally in a forest in Gabon taking part in an iboga ceremony....no matter that I was also on the floor of the basement here in this home. I can totally appreciate where you are coming from and I really respect your words as a forum member here. I know everyone wants to protect iboga and so do I. Having said that, I write my reports from my point of view and from my perspective so as to share my experience. I am new to iboga but I am not new to plant teachers. I have been writing about my experiences for over a decade and nothing I say is going to make somebody spend $200 USD for a gram of ibogaine who is not already seeking. And having said that, I never EVER write trip reports to give dosage advice, and I don't give endorsements either. I just try to speak from my perspective and from the context of my experience. I will rave about iboga to a like minded audience but in general think I am pretty humbled by the whole thing...if I come across differently I will now be aware. I also want to say that I know I have only tried ibogaine twice...I am not an expert. I do look forward to many more experiences with it in the future and the further understanding it will bring. Meditate often or daily, yoga not so much in the past year....used to practice daily. For whatever reason I found the words and ideas people shared with me about iboga did not translate to my experience and I regret I did not hear that ibogaine may not necessarily be an 'ordeal' ridden with excess stimulation leaving me wishing it wore off. From my perspective, the dosage I took (1gram of the hcl, and a little over 1/2g of the TA) of ibogaine was not a difficult one.....as a veteren dozen of synthetics, self-extracted DMT, growing up on LSD, etc/....the ibogaine was actually pretty damn friendly. I did mention in the report that some personal issues cycled in my head, difficult issues I have longed pushed away, and that was true. The process of cycling in my head means I felt I was reliving them again. This certainly was not 'easy' but ibogaine held my hand during it, it was very empathetic and had humor, it made it very easy for me to finally deal with the issues. LSD has NEVER been like that. LSD has flat-out tormented me with me problems before, on top of making me feel like it will never end. This is what I mean by ibogaine causes less 'unreality' than LSD. Having said that, 1 1/4g (or equivalent) is a high dosage. From my research, the 'starting' dosages that do not involve addiction interruption are closer to 3mg-5mg/kg for the typical 'westerner.' This from all the research done in S. America in the 70s and elsewhere. This is why I don't give dosage advice...to many caveats. Thanks for understanding. I never have encountered anyone being harsh, but there is a lot of 'protection' going on and I think that influences a lot of people to keep quiet about some aspects of iboga. It is important to me for other 'plant researchers' to know iboga is a valid means of a having a mystical experience. That it can be blissful and it may not be an 'ordeal' or 'once in a life time only.' Now I am saying iboga is inside of me too, and it wants people to know these things.
Just wanted to add some words here....a friend on another forum last month reminded me that not everyone who takes ibogaine tells the same story I do. I took a month to think about his words and now here is a response... >Powerful, poignant story, MGS...thank you for sharing it with us. >your confidence is encouraging, but let's make a point not to forget >what happened to our friend two years after his powerful Iboga >experience. It's a sobering reminder that addiction is a lifelong >vulnerability (Iboga or not). To which I replied....... I appreciate you commenting and I miss our regular chats. I am working very hard to be at the point where I accept every word from another as a chance to reevaluate, and a challenge for me to defend my position, or open my mind to the idea it was wrong. A month ago or so I was telling people that I'll be opiate free for at last the next decade, only the perfect storm could change where I am at. And when I (re)read Tobala's report my immediate thoughts were....'well he didn't take enough' and then I thought, "well it doesn't sound like he prepared months in advance for it as I did, maybe that is why, etc." Now I am at the point where I do accept that ibogaine is FUCKING AMAZING and does work....but it still requires the user to operate heavy machinery. Ibogaine can be the grand reset button (with the right dose) but at some point the user has to accept responsibility for their own path. Ibogaine cannot pilot the ship forever.....and who would want it too? I can't speak for others but my ibogaine experience began with every trip I ever had....they all set the template and the mood. LSD, DMT, 1001 research chemicals, the whole lot were all 'training' for me. Ibogaine came into my life not just to free me from the conviction I had that my life was not worth anything without opiates....it came into my life to plant a seed in my brain that is growing, and I will work every day to continue nurturing it. After the seed was planted and sprouted, I went on a 4 week period of 'reintroduction' surrounded by family who provided love and support and allowed me to just be, but also wanted to hear of my experience...and talking about it allowed me to rethink it all, look at where I am at, where others like me got too, and really take in the great divide between where I wanted to be, where I could be, and where I as at. In short, this was for me the 'follow up therapy' that every ibogaine practitioner says is NECESSARY for success. Without it, ibogaine is just as much a crap-shoot as taking LSD or any other psychedelic. Then my oldest and dearest friend, sister, soul mate, etc....flew me out to sunny CA to remind me further, and to show me by example that working hard to be the best I can be will work...she showed me by simply being herself. The she reminded me of the fact that I turned her on to psychedelics when we were VERY YOUNG adults, and it changed where she wanted her life to lead...and man has that woman done/is doing SO MUCH.....and she reminded me that I turn on everyone I know, I always have, no one has ever had buyer's remorse...and maybe there is something more to it than I 'just like to trip.' I needed her affirmation. I am working to make all of those around me 'matter' but for so long, her opinion of myself was all I ever cared about. That she justified my path at that moment was probably more of a +4 than even the ibogaine. The trip to CA showed me the life I want to live is all around me. Be it in CA, or where I am now, all I need to do is practice to better myself, keep the faith in the things I know to be true, share the knowledge I have learned, do not engage in bullshit, and with good intentions, all life around me will unfold in ways I could never foresee. It has happened everyday since March 3rd, it gets stronger every day, and it has only begun. I know I will have pitfalls they are challenges along the way I will need to bridge in order to make the path I am on stronger. And every pitfall I overtake is a lesson I can share with those around me who need to hear it. I know I am human, subject to the same fears and excesses anyone else is. But I also know the seed planted in my brain is all I ever will need again and as long as I work to continue on this path....nothing will every change the way I see things. The decade I spend in love with opiates and death was a necessary path I took, the reasons of which are still not clear....but I know it all happened for a very good reason and I would not change a thing. I also know every reason and every behavior pattern in my brain that made that life the one I wanted to live are no longer relevant to me today, I work hard to make it that way tomorrow, and I know everything is going to come out rosy for me.
Beautiful Morningglory! After a decade of being in love with opiates you now have a new love as do I. Iboga IS amazing medicine and I am so happy that you found it, or it found you (as was my case) I feel the more love you give it, the more love it gives back. It has allowed me to love myself for the first time in my life as well. I don't think I would change things if I were to go back, if I could. Iboga may not have sensed how much I needed it, not just for my addition issues but for other things as well. much love to you, roxine