Help!! Trying to kick Subs. & prepare for a Flood

your name will need to change as you will change coming out of the hell you speak of. kratom will absolutely pull you out of withdrawal. I too was in a never ending sub withdrawal, and would not have made it if not for kratom. I know some people do small amounts of benzos while using kratom. I'll send you a pm with a forum to read. kratom has it's own hooks that can get into you, although It is definitely a good stepping down aid. I used bali kratom (plain leaf) 3-5 grams 3-4xs daily for about 3 weeks, and than I lessened my daily intake. I would stay away from any enhanced products, as an addict does not have the self control to use them sparingly and they will definitely get you caught up in another battle to be free. this is very doable... your on your way. don't look back.  best of luck. let us know how your doing!

First and foremost: Thank you, mellowhawk!      The kindness of the people, along with the willingness to share their stories, experiences, & knowledge on here, has been nothing short of amazing to me....not to mention helpful & inspiring.  I've done a ton of reading....& am continuing to do so. There just seems to be an endless wealth of information on here. I'm striving to soak it all in, like a big sponge.  I'm so glad that I was led to this forum/site. This whole battle has been tearing me down piece by piece.        I'm not where I need to be yet. Though, I feel I have finally stepped foot onto the right road. Daily, trying as hard as I can to keep looking forward, moving forward, as to not stray, & end up back in that dark alley, so to speak...      I caved this morning & ended up with a sub. in my hands.  I'm being as disciplined as I can force myself to be. I cut it in half. My goal is to make that half, last me all week. When it's gone, now that I'm a bit more educated on the matter, I'll start using the Kratom. I've made a vow to myself that this is the last Sub. I will have. Ever.      Regardless of how bad I feel, how unstable I become mentally, how weak I feel, how irritable I become, how much tension builds in my home, etc., I refuse to buy any more. Period.  Sometimes a line has to be drawn in the sand. Today, I've drawn mine. It MUST NOT be crossed (again). I'll not allow myself to do so. At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself of.      I want my life back so badly. Never have I wished for something so immensely. I want to be back on the Ice everyday, excel, & eventually compete, to start painting again, writing music, playing music. I want to be able to get up & go to work, without struggle. To come home, do daily chores, have my home clean, my mind clean, my body clean, my soul clean, & live happily again; For the first time in years, I feel like it can actually REALLY happen. Honestly, I've never been so determined. THAT'S what makes me feel like I'm ready. My love affair with opiates has ran it's course. It's time to break it off & walk away.      When I think about the day when it's my time to Flood, I get excited. I'm anxious for it. 'This' person/walking larvae that I've become, is ready to cocoon, metamorphose, break out, fly away from the darkness, & into the light...Completely reborn. More beautiful than ever, inside & out. One minute at a time, I take the baby steps to get there....      I'm grateful for this forum. It's giving me hope & strength. To know that I'm not alone in this makes it seem more achievable. Seeing & reading what it has done for others makes me a firm believer that I WILL be reborn, refreshed, renewed, & feel that long lost thing called happiness again.....Never look back at the wreckage. All of it will be buried, burned, & disposed of. I'll no longer be the host for the opiate parasite, or Subs.. The time has come for me to take this ram by the horns & head where I want to be. That is exactly my intention. I will guide it. Rather than it leading, guiding me into the abyss, & controlling me. Not anymore! I'm willing & ready to do whatever it takes to turn the tide of my life....all while keeping the PMA.      Thank you!, to anyone that reads this. Thank you, mellowhawk, for the useful information & encouragement! I welcome any input, advice, or the sharing of other's experiences, struggles, goals, etc.. I find myself on here frequently. It's helping stay on track, to a degree. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Welcome to Iboga everseeaflowerandhateit?   Yes, I do see flowers that I dislike but I am a professional gardener HA!  It seem like you are really determined and that is when Iboga is the most effective.    If you want to do this properly and safe, get your heart and liver checked.. heart especially.  Iboga is an amazing medicine and could not only rid you of your drug dependence but also your depression...it certainly worked for me that way!  How long were you on antidepressants?  I would stay off them for as long as possible now, maybe try a bit of root bark after you have been off them awhile to introduce the medicine to your system and see what kind of tolerance you have...some are very sensitive to it and others seems to be able to take a lot. I hope you find what you are looking for ever... good luck to you and your husband and hope to see you around here! roxine

I did not get to read all your post, but seen enough about the subs, and kratom. That is actually the route I went. First sub's, then kratom, then home free. You are ok with the kratom and benzo's. I actually think that is a good way to get off sub's/methadone for a time period while planning for your flood. I just wanted to get that out there as hopefully it helps you. Will read the rest of your posts in a bit.

I too used kratom and benzos for a short period to ease sub withdrawals with no issues. I am glad you found this forum and have already read so much in the way of others' experiences....a priceless gift it is no doubt! I would suggest getting even keel with your kratom and benzo dosing even titrating some over a 3 month period prior to flooding with Iboga.  Most people suggest being 3 months clear of sub if you can wait that long.  I came off of long-term sub and went through the withdrawal (kicking, screaming and self-medicating) and can say that it is unlike any other opioid and the recovery time is lengthy.  The long half-life and the strange partial agonist black vodoo magic chemical makeup of this drug can make it a little difficult and the longer it has been out before you flood the better...for sure. That is beautifully put and most perfect!  Post that one on your fridge or something and when times get tough read and reread it because it came from deep within your true being. I don't only believe that your heart's desire is possible, but a foregone conclusion IF you choose to stay on the path that you have just recently stepped onto.  We will be rooting for you

Off of Anti-Depressant for 10 days! 24hrs w/out using Sub....a half lasted 5 days. It's all gone now. I thought it would make WD easier by tapering down. This hasn't been effective. My throat already hurts and I feel 'the sickness' coming on just as strongly as it ever has. It's right around the corner. Again.  Having a mental disorder on top of all of this, is making this journey an even tougher one. I know it's going to be at least 8-12 wks before I can get all in alignment to Flood....it's just making it to that point. Had I known then, what I know now, I would have done so many things differently. That isn't the case, though....I made the bed that I do NOT want to sleep in. It feels as if I've dropped the piano on my own head. I'm an artist....primarily right handed...and I would give that hand, to not feel as badly as I do right now......I have a tiny bit of Kratom stashed. PLEASE work! I need a miracle....I don't want to cave-in, which at the moment, isn't an option for me. A hardcore storm is coming through where I live....I seriously want to wrap my head & body in foil and go stand barefoot in the lightning storm......oh, this is such an unforgiving beast! This ride isn't fun anymore. I want off.

I certainly feel your pain.. I too was there. get a nice big bottle of immodium and use that for a few days. It will take the edge off for sure. you need to do about 30-40 mgs. don't use it for to long, as folks have even got stuck on that. you should have a nice big batch of kratom, you'll need to indulge at least 3xs daily. please feel free to message me if you need to. don't give up. the only way to the other side is through it.

I flooded to get off Sub about five years ago. It's one of the toughest to get off of even with ibogaine. I switched to a short acting opiate (Percocet) 30 days prior to the flood, but most people here would recommend more than 30 days. I had previously quit pain pills cold turkey without any comfort meds and it was the most hellish three or four days of my life. I tried to quit Suboxone the same way and couldn't make it past three days. The bad withdrawals didn't kick in for 24 hours. The thing about Suboxone is that the hellish withdrawals last much longer. If you can get on a short acting opiate for at least 30 days or more than that's definitely the right move. I think it's going to be tough otherwise even with ibogaine. For full disclosure, I have relapsed (not with Suboxone – I would never touch that shit again) three times since then and just did my fourth flood two weeks ago. Without a doubt, ibogaine is hands-down the best way to quit opiates. For me, I got total relief from any serious withdrawal symptoms every time I have flooded. Of course, total recovery after the flood has always been a little tough for me, but I'm 56 years old. The recovery since my recent flood has been probably the easiest, but probably due to the short duration of my last relapse. If you can get the short acting opiate, it's probably going to take a significant dose. Suboxone fills up all the receptors and will block the effect of opiates for a good while. In my opinion, it would be tough using kratom, although I have read about a few people having success that way. However, I've also read accounts of people having trouble using ibogaine to get off kratom. If you haven't already, you should read everything you can hear and elsewhere of the experiences of others under similar circumstances. I wish you the best of luck. The one thing I'm certain of is that you'll be better off eventually after your off Suboxone.