My microdosing experience
We can all be absent minded, especially if we are not at homeostasis, smoke weed, cigs, all drugs really, and mental despair can cause absent mindedness...... I am assuming you are micro-dosing with Root Bark based on your dosages. Otherwise, the bigger ones would be flood doses if they were TA or HCL. A flood can be a major awareness booster, even more so when coupled with micro-dosing post flood. I have no experience with micro-dosing without a flood or before a flood, so I cannot offer any information on that. I would venture to guess that the experience will be much less profound without a flood dose. It sounds like that's what you are looking for based on the tone of your post. I've been microdosing HCL, and then started TA, may even throw some RB in (not likely soon), and I am 12 days post flood. The success is without a doubt tangible. Not only do I have no urge for opiates, but I have completely changed my view towards pain and discomfort. My awareness and mood are through the roof, despite having a long challenging road ahead finding employment, staying clean, and most importantly never forgetting what I have learned from my experience and continuously incorporating that into myself now and who I will become for my remaining years. Has anyone experienced profound effects from micro-dosing without a flood? Or pre-flood? Is profound the goal? A flood dose would undoubtedly show you the power of the plant. That DOES NOT mean I am recommending a flood, since I don't know enough about your back-story. I am happy to keep this dialogue going. I am very interested in what you are trying to accomplish, and hopefully can offer feedback that is valuable.
Rootbark yes. well, since you are very interested... I wrote like an hour long intro on this site, but i´d rather keep it short for you. The ultra short version is: Im a fucking pussy. Its true. Im scared of life. And death. I want to flood because: - I need a reset/rebirth I´ve spent the last few years extremely isolated from the world as i had more or less given up on life. I guess the years before that i was following some bad advice on how to better myself and basically crashed and burned. Add to that smoking 5 grams a day and being a hardcore porn addict, which will fuck up your dopamine system just as much as any real drug out there (erectile dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, erectile dysfunction). All this plus more has created a bunch of misconceptions about myself and about life that is hard to get past. I want to understand these misconceptions and i want to accept my past and move on. I hate my past, if i could change my whole life i wouldnt keep one single day. NOTHING. And i know i dont really have any reason to, because my life was never really bad. Just a lot more unspectacular than it should have been. - Accepting myself. Pretty self-explanatory. The universe gave me everything i needed in life and so far i´ve wasted it all. And thus far i´ve failed to forgive myself for that. Its very hard looking back at all the opportunities i was given but never embraced. - Try to figure out whatever it is that is holding me back - Get more comfortable with living life and accepting death. And a bunch of other shit. I could have continued writing for hours but basically im carrying huge amounts of old luggage and baggage that i never needed to keep around in the first place. And this have accumulated to such amounts over the years that i cant navigate through them. I dont see cause and effect of things, because they´re all clouded by all the old meaningless shit i carry around. Its actually quite ridiculous by now. I find myself at the crossroads again. I´ve been working very hard the last 4 months to correct myself and start living again, i threw myself out there, in the thickest thick of things. But the isolation affected me a lot, and things are challenging to say the least. Im mentally 20, but im 30 soon. So what´s it going to be? Keep being 20 or finally grow up? That sure sounds like something i need.
windybirch41, I think it would be an absolute lie if anyone here said they could not relate to something you have just said.....I know I can empathize with a lot of the things you have mentioned. First, I'd like to say, you do seem like a good candidate for Iboga therapy, BUT, I beg you, take the time to do the research, your due diligence (i.e. a qualified sitter, medical testing is highly recommended) and follow all the protocols because this is a powerful substance that has the possibility of doing more damage than good if the process is not fully respected. With that out of the way, beyond preparing for a flood (which sounds imminent), you will benefit from changing your thinking/perception. A lot harder said than done, I know. I am a student of psychology and what you are describing could be described as extreme cognitive dissonance and what may be a dash of existential crisis. Iboga therapy can help, but is a mere paddle in crossing the lake that is your cognitive dissonance. The goal is to relieve that dissonance, and feel harmony with oneself again. If we believe we have wasted our life, our opportunities, we have failed and there is no hope, and fear death, than we are stuck in quick sand. We can change our thinking, our cognition. We can choose to believe that failure leads to success, our definition of success can evolve, and eventually you will stop living and dwelling of the past and start living in the wow that is now!!! Now is all we have. Sad to say, but we can all be hit by a bus, or an earthquake, or 1 of the 50,000 nuclear warheads that the elite have could be released, etc at any fucking moment. So if you don't start relieving some of that cognitive dissonance, you will never achieve satisfaction. Once again, easier said than done. Ironically, I have luckily had the help of various mind altering substances to launch this healing process. 4 aco met and Iboga have been the most profound. But there is no stopping there. Remember I said Iboga was like a paddle for getting you across the lake of shit that we ride through in our minds daily. Well, everything else that you do that consists of being kind to yourself is the canoe my friend. I'm am talking about surrounding yourself with the right people (this forum is a good start), cultivating your relationships, various forms of mindfulness to experience your life (i.e. yoga, meditation, being in nature is a great one or me, eating meals without any noise or distraction.....), reading good books, basically do whatever gets you off within a healthy moderation of course. I don't know if I am making any sense to you, as I am kind of just writing stream of conscious with regards to my reaction to your post. To recap, think about building your canoe as best you can. Iboga therapy may even be a powerful fucking motor that just zips you across that lake of bullshit that distracts us all from taking advantage of life and appreciating everything. A powerful motor is actually a better analogy than a paddle. Iboga floods usually are nothing short of powerful. HOWEVER, without a strong boat or canoe to attach the powerful Iboga motor to (everything else you do that cultivates happiness and gratitude, preferably pre, but also post flood), your boat won't work properly, and you sink back into that shit. No one can appreciate everything/take advantage of everything. But you can be happy and have what I refer to as the "golden seconds." I am sure this is a lot to take in and I have no idea how it will resonate. Sending you positive vibes. We are blessed with many chances to change our thinking and ourselves for the better my friend. Peace, Blue
microdosing is generally a process for AFTER a flood dose while it might help you familiarize yourself to iboga the "tonic" affects for iboga microdosing do not seem to grab ahold unless one has flooded
Understood. The familiarizing was really what i was looking for by microdosing, but cant say i got any closer.
Firstly I really apologize, I can't read the full scripts because of lack of internet access (country living) and when I do have internet it's like zoom, zoom, too fast to think. Whatever JBG says I would say is as good as you can get to an expert opinion, on all issues IMO. That being said when folks are well grounded and they have a good head on their shoulders what I will generally do is first initiate them with Kambo. In many respects this has a similar effect as flooding as to getting you accessible to micro dose. When I can't Kambo them as they are out of my vicinity I try to monitor until they feel the effects working. So what I'm trying to say is you didn't take enough if it had only minimal effects. You definitely have a medium to high tolerance level. Someone like JBG or I can tap in real quick at only 500mg whereas someone like Grateful Dad needs 4 grams, so you see there is a huge range between even those really experienced here. I have no explanation for why this is. It seems the forum could work really well in this respect of keeping tabs and monitoring micro dose schedules to make sure it is just right. Too little, nada (at least on the surface. Too much, things can get tweeky and weird. You did nothing wrong. You should just start out with 1 gram in the morning and 1 gram in the evening. It will stack up and quantify effects. If it doesn't start to get going within 3 days then you know you need just a tad bit more. This stuff takes a lot of figuring out. For a newcomer it can be extremely difficult. Fortunately enough of us have gone down the path already and done the trial and error over and over again until we are Ibogaists. Or Ibogaites. Whatever you wanna call it seems with precision if you keep things updated it can be nailed down pretty well in this thread. Your fearful but come on, I think we can all tell, you're being called. The magnetic force will leave no other option.
windybirch41, Your comments sound like I have felt for a long time. That's the only reason I'm posting. I usually just read for advice. I flooded in early August and went down hard with no energy, ambition or interest anything. For three months just wanted to be alone. Relapsed to pain pills in Dec. and felt better. Recently started microdosing to taper. Also started taking a little neutontin/gabepentin. Mood lifted quick and have tapered down to minimal pain pills and ready to jump off. Neurontin is easy to get and little side affect risk. May be worth a try. I believe in iboga and its powers. Hang in there and follow the advice of experienced people on this forum.
It's literally a science of exactitude. Very few of us have done enough trial and error on ourselves to figure out how it can be most effective for others. Iboga is a university unto itself, in fact don't be surprised if like the Oaksterdam Ganja University, soon I would think Iboga will have such a place. Anyways I find nearly every case is unique. With the exception of those super tapped in like a Nganga Bwiti, and only need a miniscule amount to get the vibe (hats off JBG). Some only need once a day. Others need twice a day. A few very few cases need 3 times a day. The cautionary tale is the weird tweeky vibe that can make social interactions very difficult. That's when you need to take less or stop. Which is why this is such an important subject to get help on from those that have done the error already. Better you took to small then too much. Stay with us.
I can't speak to Ayahuasca since I have never encountered it. This thread is evolving into what your advisable next steps are, which I hope is fine with the powers that be. I hate to start sounding cliche, but, there's are reason for it, it really is that simple a lot of the time. Everyone carries baggage, and everyone's baggage effects them differently. The human mind is an amazing thing. It can become clouded, as you put it, and prevent us from taking any joy in life. There are many possible explanations for this both external and internal, all resulting in a overly toxic chemical soup. From your words, you are clearly stating that you feel lost and don't know your way back. Interestingly enough, there is a reason you are here. You have begun to build your canoe and you don't even know it yet because your thinking/chemistry is inhibiting that. I have been there before, about 3 weeks ago in fact. Let me shed some light on my thinking before my most recent flood, because it was polar opposite of how I view my life right now. I hated myself for all the things I had done in my life, self pity, no self worth, no appreciation for beauty, I was never happy, constantly dwelling on where things went wrong and how I had lost hope for any change. For example, I thought that I would never be able to quit cigarettes, or other drugs long term. I thought anyone who came near me was only going to be hurt or disappointed. I thought about death, and how it must be so relieving. I was irrational with my gf, told hereshe better get away now while she still can, before I really hurt her. Just the worst man. I also could go on and on. Post flood, I am 2 weeks of opiates and higher than I ever was when on them. When I say, "high", I am referring to a natural positive glow that has completely changed my perspective. I strengthen/integrate that now with yoga, being as buddha as can be, mindfulness, I am more in the now than I have been since forever, and it is a bit new, comforting, sometimes unsettling, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, I started therapy before I did my 4th flood. This helped ground me a little. I highly recommend seeing a professional, and from what you are saying, cognitive, or cognitive-behavioral therapy is best (CBT). You can learn exercises to change your thinking, which will change your chemistry, which will let you be who you want to be, who everyone wants to be: Fulfilling your true potency, because we are all potent creatures, we just sometimes gradually and unknowingly lose sight of this, it becomes blurry. You still came to this forum for a reason, and started micro dosing for a reason. As hopeless as you may feel at times, you know deep down that your life can make a major paradigm shift. A proper Iboga flood could potentially bring you back into focus that is peace, happiness, acceptance, forgiveness, and most importantly being kind to yourself. Just not an Iboga flood alone as previously stated. I think exercise and martial arts are great tools. Iboga can be that something bigger and quicker for the long term, rapid change you are seeking. If the elders would chime in here too please, it sounds to me like you could benefit from two big things (which may be challenging in a new city): A: You need a solid support system, a sitter, a healer, a therapist, a loved one who can hold some of that baggage for you and ease your heavy load. B: You may want to make arrangements for your calling, your flood. This entails a lot of prep, so ask questions, read, research, and get excited about the fact that you are taking steps towards a major shift in consciousness, to healing yourself.
I appreciate it bluetiger. I´ve already been down this road on the forum before so we can close this one up. Dont get me wrong tho, i agree with what you´re saying.