Day two on forum, having newbie blues

Hey...

So in AA they have sponsors. A person who takes you through the twelve steps and stands as your immediate point person for questions concerning the program and someone you become open to taking suggestions/direction from.  Are there any sponsors on this site out there?  Someone who would be willing to work with a new guy and help navigate them towards their goals?  

I'm a 36 year old male.
Ive been a CADCII counselor for 10 years, currently do social work/case management with the homeless who suffer from severe mental health issues.
I enjoy playing minimal tech house and electro on technic turntables when I have the time.
I like athletics, sport and oddly enough love playing competitive softball with friends.
I am originally from San Francisco(upper haight) and currently reside in San Diego.  
I have a great family and great group of friends. I have had a decent childhood with no major issues.  The universe has provided for me and I am grateful.  

I wish I could show that gratitude more by giving back as much of myself as possible... My ability to thrive and give back to the universe has been hindered by addiction.  2001 I got on track, pursued my education, life goals and managed to stay sober for 8 years. Eventually I became consumed with selfish self seeking behavior and began disconnecting from my supports while pursuing a relationship that became tumultuous.  I had to undergo chemo treatment during this time.  It was the perfect storm. Compromised my needs for a relationship, stopped working a recovery program, and add a physical illness in there with pain meds etc.  I lost my sobriety date and a little bit of myself. 

It's been almost 4 years and I struggle to stay sober more than 90 days.  I've had to leave work, go to several treatment programs and spend a lot of money never fully restoring my recovery, or that peace of mind and comfort that comes with it.  

I can't express my interest in iboga enough and the hope that the stories I read give me.  I can't deny what's out there nor do I want to. If this connection to a spirit does exist, I humbly want to know and I cherish the opportunity to experience it.  

I am truly and honestly seeking guidance here... It's time for me to ask for help, which can become extraordinarily difficult to ask for.  

Thank you for listening,

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💬 3 comments

3 Comments

nimblehare· 27 Sept 2026

Check your Mail & feel free to give me a call

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roxine· 27 Sept 2026

Welcome Beta! It seems like you know where you want to be and/or get back there. Welcome, I hope we can help you in your journey. roxine

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brightwillow· 28 Sept 2026

Welcome aboard beta, may I say your taste in avatars speaks volumes, man....ahhh it is so nice to see the gremlin - I am transported back to the Mid-West late 90's - minimal techno, argon laser throbbing in a smoky dance floor...me and friends shamelessly E-tarded locked into beautiful bass, candyfliiping trance...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Now...reality. BAM! I'd have lived on the dance floor if I could have. Instead I just got way too wrapped up in the warp and drug scene and without a doubt raving like I did expedited my dependence on opiates...I needed them to come down from waaaay up there. Couple those all night, sometimes all weekend parties with getting older and abusing everything that came my way it is a wonder I am alive to write this at all...I can Identify with the blues my friend. I am certainly glad you are here - it hits my funny bone when people pop up who share certain tastes, and music is a real soft spot for me, it means a great deal and seeing that logo brought a cascade of memories back with a whoosh! Thanks for being here, and thanks for the honest and heartfelt introduction. I think you will like the boards, the people here are sincere and knowledgeable - most of us share some common hurts and so can relate with each other on deep and important levels...you may or may not find a 'sponsor' or specific mentor here, but I believe you will certainly find a group of decent and caring individuals who welcome sharing with you. I'm off to catch up - I like to be absent for a few days and then jump through my ass to see what I missed, I mean, why do anything the easy way? I hope to see you around, and hope you get acquainted with some new people and new possibilities, I think you are in the right place Peace be with you man, Cal

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