3rd flood dose and Entity Questions
just read about the entity that entered your trip!! I hear that can actually happen was it scary and did it actually ruin your trip?
Yes, it was unsettling, but only made me more curious about what was going on. It happened almost right after I purged violently. One reason for taking this flood, was to try and address some information that a psychic told me about a spiritual block/negative energy on my left side (left stomach) blocking my acceptance of 'positive energies' that partly lead to my self loathing and fear. She said there was some negative energy/bad karma on my dad's side of the family that I inherited. I do believe in the supersensual aspects of the body now, like chakras, and from others things she told me, I took her seriously, even if I do not understand it. So I asked iboga to remove it, if it it was there still. I didnt even know I was going purge until it I felt it come right out of me, and luckily the bucket was ready ;-) As soon as I purged I instinctively knew that this was related to my request. Oddly this was the first time I purged taking iboga. I purged a second time about 8 hours later.
Yes, it was unsettling, but only made me more curious about what was going on. It happened almost right after I purged violently. One reason for taking this flood, was to try and address some information that a psychic told me about a spiritual block/negative energy on my left side (left stomach) blocking my acceptance of 'positive energies' that partly lead to my self loathing and fear. She said there was some negative energy/bad karma on my dad's side of the family that I inherited. I do believe in the supersensual aspects of the body now, like chakras, and from others things she told me, I took her seriously, even if I do not understand it. So I asked iboga to remove it, if it it was there still. I didnt even know I was going purge until it I felt it come right out of me, and luckily the bucket was ready ;-) As soon as I purged I instinctively knew that this was related to my request. Oddly this was the first time I purged taking iboga. I purged a second time about 8 hours later. OMG THATS CRAZY were you scared at all? fuck imagine finding out you have an entity attached to you related to your fathers side thats awfull!! .......
Its not a pleasant idea. Also I was wondering if it was just my psyche causing me to see something, since I was thinking about it before the trip. This particular vision was not like the others, it had a will of its own, and it was not passive. Indeed it was not like a vision at all, but an independent entity. The concept of mental illness like depression and other ailments being caused by dark spirits/energy is common to the belief of many indigenous peoples, who see the world in much more supernatural/spiritual terms. Its a fascinating read about a National Geographic writer who used ayahuasca with shamans to heal herself of mental/spiritual demons. So when the psychic told me this, I was not shocked. Do I believe all this? Well, I do now. I am seeing the psychic soon to see if it is still around, and to remove it. One thing is for certain, the eboga flushed it out and pissed it off.
A lot of what you see in your trip, often has to do with what you were thinking about before the trip. I saw middle eastern scenes of war and stuff the first time I did iboga. I think it may have been because I watched a special on Saddam Hussein the week before I left to go to flood. I saw what looked to be Muslims shooting off heavy artillery and cleaner cut, fat, middle eastern people, who were in this huge banquet hall, and the message/idea I got from the vision was gluttony and sloth. Things I was guilty of while being addicted. That is about the only way I could relate those scenes to me. Many people see highly personal visionary experiences, but for me it seemed like random visions and ideas, with no real rhyme, reason, or a clear message. The real change came after the visionary experience, which seemed rather insignificant when I was experiencing it.
Thanks. Yes the still mind and set & setting is so important with trips. I can see how my psyche and what it believes definitely forms/influences what I see. I'm still not ruling anything out yet.
what a great report !!! i would have to second what GD said .
Thanks. There was not a great deal of coherent visuals in this experience. The totem man I saw I'm wondering if it was a manifestation of the spirit of iboga, interpreted by the bwiti to come in different masculine forms. In Daniel Pinchbeck's 'Breaking Open the Head' , the wooden man he sees in his trip is interpreted by a shaman to be this spirit. I'm obviously open to this type of viewpoint :-) I've had a great week since my flood, still fatigued, but very focused and getting a lot done. My diet has changed (off caffeine!!) and I'm trying new things.
Hi, Wanted to post an update and some other observations in general that may help inform people. A lot of it pertains to my own interpretations, beliefs, experience and journey. One month after, I feel fantastic, more connected with other people, and balanced. Less emotional and more focused & clear thinking. The first time I flooded I was convinced that my eye sight became 20/20 for a few days after (I am short sighted). Indeed about 3 days after this flood, I noticed that I could read better from afar *without* my glasses! Nearly a month later, my eye sight is back to 'normal'. Anyone else notice iboga's effect on the senses like this? My work with the Psychic continues. I am getting a major (and costly) crystal therapy session late December to purge any negative energy I have. I could get a lot more into this aspect of my journey, but I will probably leave for a later date, if at all, since it is very personal. Suffice to say that my work with the Psychic started the day after I did a heroic (lol newbie) dose of 8.1g of mimosahausca early this summer. Off the cuff, my girlfriend took us to see her for fun, after taking an alternate way back to her house, I was too exhausted to argue. Which lead to the Psychic quickly working on me and requesting I come back. She told me enough that I knew she had a gift (lol, the odds of her guessing everything right were too low). A couple of weeks later (perhaps due to my third eye being opened from the mimosahausca) I had 2 separate experiences in the early hours of the morning, in bed, one being with a negative energy entity, that pinned me down, until I spat in it's face. These were definitely not just nightmares, as I actually awoke to see them. So that's partly why I am more open to this stuff, along with my first flood experience, and the evidence of the huge benefits I get from the spiritual aspects of my recovery program. The totem man I saw, I am now thinking is related to my personal relationship with Christ. The totem I realized resembled/was a crucifix, and the face on the totem was Christ-like. Still gradually integrating this. The right arm of the totem/crucifix that turned red, formed a hand with a long pointed finger that repeatedly pointed to it's right (or my left as I facing it). This I think was it instructing me to follow the Right Hand Path. I had done much reading on esoterica and spiritual matters in the year before my flood. Again, there were no real overt insights or visuals in my 3rd flood about how I should be living, besides the initial Totem man entity. For instance in my second flood I had visuals of a panel with both a positive (+) and negative sign (-) on it, and a cursor hand that kept pressing the positive, which I knew to mean to be positive in all my thoughts. And that what was positive was Love, and there was also negativity which was lack of love, which resulted in fear and other dark shit. The lack of these visuals I take to be a good thing, in terms of these being lessons I no longer need to re-see. Have 1 1/2 grams of TA left. Still debating whether to micro dose over the next 2-3 weeks for some more insight, or take it all for one last large sub-flood dose.
sorry double post.
Super interesting thread. When I was a teenager, I had what I can only describe as a dark entity. This *entity* appeared total of three times over a three year period. The first two times, it came in the form of a big black faceless shadow,threatening me with some kind of telepathic message. The third and last time it appeared,it came in the form of a( native american?)/shaman. He was chanting low and sprinkling seeds around me. SEEDS? I was like WTF?? This visit wasn't threatening at all. The weird part of this story: Soon after the third and final visit, I found out I was pregnant. I cannot dismiss the coincidence. Seeds/pregnancy??? of course I know the shaman didnt get me pregnant.......duh. But I wonder if he was blessing the life inside? This was 19years ago. I have one son. I can't help but think these events hold meaning in my life. This happened without the aid of any drugs/psychedelics. It's difficult to dismiss these things once they happen.
Thank you for sharing. That is fascinating. I think that these experiences are more common than people realize, especially in the West, which due to our culture suppresses anything not empirically reproducible, which be definition rules these experiences as non-'real'. The entities I saw, truth be told, were at least a good 2 weeks after I took the mimosahuasca. Glad to hear that you are getting through your own recovery :-)
Thanks D. I'm also planning to try what my friend describes as smokable Aya. He calls it Changa. He seems to think it's a good introduction to DMT experience.
Yes, I've heard it is. Good luck with that!
Happy New Year! I still have 1 1/2 g of TA in the freezer. Did 5 crystal therapy baths before Christmas in 5 days, which literally feels like it removed a weight off of me. This therapy is supposed to help clean up/scrub my aura and get the chakras flowing, which evidently it has. It does seem to have helped my clarity, confidence and removed the confusion since doing it. I also credit both the work with the psychic, my recovery program house cleaning, and of course the iboga flood for this. The psychic said that she saw that my aura was much better since I took my flood. The long drawn out situation with the girl at work (caused partly by my fears), who I experienced being hurt by me in one of my first flood out of body experiences, and whom I am supposedly connected to (says the psychic), is much better. I talked to her at a Christmas party, and I was not shy or fearful, instead confident, calm and friendly, we traded long glances from afar, powerful stuff. I sense things are to be resolved this year (finally), now that I have thrown the shyness/self loathing monkey off my back. Guess you could call this situation a 'first world problem' but it is major for me as she has a piece of my heart. To determine if she is the one, or I move on, regardless I am no longer shy/awkward in general with girls. The fact that I am no longer using drugs, not even caffeine, and in a recovery program, is a miracle, thanks to god & iboga. I have a final and major crystal therapy session with the psychic later this month or in feb. I mentioned my mimosahausca/jurema (ayahuasca analogue) trip I took the day before visiting the psychic. That was my second trip on jurema last summer, took ~5g of mimosa and 3g of syrian rue. It was a very harsh trip (at the peak at least, where I felt the 'coldness' of 'dmt-space' and seemed to be analyzed/interfaced by a presence there, that lead to harsh ego-crushing realizations & physical purge), but showed me stuff I needed to see, regarding guilt and negativity I was feeling. The dmt-space was black and had a multicolored vectrex like appearance with a valleys and cities. A nebulous presence showed up right after which seemed to interface analyze me before ejecting me. My first mimosahuasca experience, was in in early June and it was profound, but harsh, because I was too scared to fully let go, into a full blown out of body experience. I took a heroic dose of 13g of mimosa and 8g of syrian rue. I had feelings of deja vu when I broke through, saw and felt my girlfriend's aura penetrate me (it was purple-dark blue and was hot), saw dmt machinery merge into vines & plants and at the end came back with the clarity (i.e. I was told) that I was a little monkey fooling with things much bigger than me, lol. So the psychic talking to me about my aura, did not surprise me, since I saw one! The full trip report below, I posted on dmt nexus, but thought I would repost here for anyone interested: The day before I had found out some stressful personal news about someone significant in my life, and I was in a real bad head space that evening, but after fasting for 24 hours, I decided to go on with it. I sipped 8g of syrian rue tea, followed 1/2 hour later by sipping nearly a whole cup of 13g mimosa. It hit me within 30 minutes of taking the mimosa. Due to my head space, I became scared and insecure, I immediately felt guilty about putting my girlfriend through this, as I felt the Titantic was coming, and I didn't want to go anymore. Waves, and rolling patterns, colors and tracers. I saw a female with flowing hair fly by (a faerie?) say 'he took a big dose, take care of him'. Patterns and solid objects appeared, and reliving past events, I saw how different people really saw through my facade, as if my ego was being disseminated (similar in some ways to ibogaine). I saw candyland visuals of my girlfriend all shiny, and the room distort. Finally I purged, but only a small amount of bile came out from deep within my bowls. This launched me even further. I could barely walk, and felt cold, got back to bed, and I saw crazy fast green hued visuals flashing violently in streams in front of me, with my eyes open. I felt a sense of deja vu, that I had encountered this before. I saw a tunnel, but did not want to go through. I kept my eyes open, fighting to hold on. Everytime I closed my eyes, there were powerful visuals, and I felt I was getting pulled out of myself to go somewhere. The more I fought this, the more I felt the 'vines' lock around my jaws and neck, it was scary. I saw these frenzied entities around me, insanely fast, trying to loosen my grip or something, or maybe trying to pry my 'head'/mind open. I was really tired and felt like I was going to lose consciousness, probably due to me over-fasting and the fight I was putting up to not let go. I saw the 'real' world fade into dark blue dim. My emotions and visuals were a roller coaster ride. This went on for some time, and I experienced intense open eyed visuals, like my ceiling artex turning into a shuffling bubbling digital landscape, and saw machine like visuals and circuits transforming into vines and leaves. There was an impersonal 'mechanical' aspect to some of the visuals. The tree outside seem to form more limbs/appendages and reach down towards the window to watch over me. My girlfriend layed next to me, attentatively, and I saw and felt her aura penetrate me, it felt warm, but something seemed to pull my head and body away from her, and she got up and left me. I noticed that when she came into the room and I payed attention to her, that I would feel uncomfortable and purge again. I felt so bad, I apologized to her. Subsequently I've read that ayahausca is a known as a 'jealous' spirit, in that it wants the undivided attention of the person taking the medicine. 3 hours later, I was extremely relieved to have weathered the storm. The 2nd part of the trip was reflective and peaceful, where I was given some insight about the nature of things, it was humbling. That the experience was much more than the fancy visuals, that they served a deeper purpose. Even though I had not drunk any water in over 16 hours, I purged the other way continuously in the morning. I have felt physically much better since then, and I no longer drink caffeine (was drinking up to 6 cups a day), though my psyche was in a funk for a number of days. The experience helped me see/get some things that I needed to see, which I integrated into my recovery program and meditations with renewed vigor. Later that week, after praying on these issues, thanks to God, the funk and the underlying issues that were causing them were banished.
Well, I got ripped off about $5000 from this Psychic, as I never received the crystal therapy treatment. Hindsight is 20/20, and this is a lesson well learned. There is no doubt she has an ability, but after the first few sessions I should of moved on. The crystal therapy baths I took myself did help, but in hindsight, it was my own efforts like that, that did anything to help. How much she told me after the initial few sessions was true or not, is anyone's guess. It doesnt matter either way.
well, this whole ordeal has been incredibly, incredibly humbling, but very educational. Been bitch slapped by the universe. The iboga warned me about the 'left hand path' (vs relying on my own spiritual hard work) which is what I was trying to do with the psychic, using shortcuts to enlightenment, outside of myself for overcoming my own issues, that by their nature are mine to work through. Cold Reading ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjPsnfysrp8 ) by someone trained from youth to scam, can look damn near impressive, especially when you feed the 'psychic' information at will. They build on it with a silver tongue. Oddly it was a conversation I stoked up about her being Roma (gypsy) that seemed to terminate any further contact. The fact that I saw an aura with ayahuasca before going to see her, with her talk of auras, sort of makes the whole experience bizarre to say the least. It was my experiences of these things that obviously blinded me to the con-job that was going on. She also hooked me in based on my perception of the unresolved situation with the girl at work, when in actuality I obviously just need to man up and talk to the girl 1 on 1 to get to the truth of the situation. There were some other synchronicities that sucked me in, like her guessing that my dad was dead, her talking about 2 women in my life, both of who I hurt (my ex-wife and the girl at work [iboga showed me that I hurt her]) which in hindsight I fed her the information. So it was a bit of 'luck' on her side and me being open and a willing participant in it. In hindsight there were red flags everywhere, that I blew past (like her telling me to take money from my mother and tell her it was for my startup etc...), that showed that she was totally spiritually unfit and sick (she also tried to impress upon me that I couldnt of done anything w.o. her) . It also reveals that I have a lot of development to go, and need to be responsible for my own way, not to trust anyone but god. I'm still a believer in psychic powers, and crystal interactions, at least I am open minded to it. I did see what I saw in the early hours of the morning holding me down, but I'm also realize that the mind is very powerful and creative too, so I have to say that I just dont know much, and it could be a figment of my unconscious that was planted there based on what she told me. I am going to press charges, as well as take her to small claims court (and probably report the business to the IRS). I don't expect to get anything back, or there to be a prosecution, but I want there to be a record that I can cite. She is exploiting desperate people that need real help.
double post sorry
Hi lane_drifts, I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this, personally I wouldn't trust someone looking for so much money for this kind of thing, but I have no experience with psychics (except for some crazy premonitions I have had in my own life but I don't think I am a psychic by any means) I hope you don't feel too bad or blame yourself ... some people just fucking suck! much love, roxine
thank you roxine :-) Yes, the amount of money asked for is the biggest red flag.
Hello again, If you have followed this journal, you may have picked up a couple of lessons: 1.) Dont over-think your visions to have meaning right away (it can take much time to integrate as well as 'set & setting' effects) and 2.) don't think that you can take shortcuts (like psychics) to enlightenment and spiritual development, as you need to do the work yourself. I ended up reporting the psychic to The Death Star (IRS), and it is in God's hands. She is committing grave harm to people both spiritually and financially. beginning to wonder if the dark entity/sleep paralysis entity I struggled with was some negative energy coming from her, or even a spell. Whatever. Looking ahead, I took the 1.5g of TA, 2 weeks ago. Glad I did :-). Did not have a strong intent going in, but I did want to get things resolved in my mind about the girl at work I was struggling with. The iboga presence came on after an hour and I felt tendrils across my body and constrict around my head/mind which caused me to be scared for a moment. I heard my voice replayed from 2 hours before 'It's only 1.5g', it was like iboga was reprimanding me for disrespect. It soon let up and I was on my way with full respect :-) Part of me has always felt guilty for relapsing and taking iboga again after my beautiful experience with the first flood, and this seems to come across in my trips. My first vision reminded me of the bearded totem entity with bark skin from my last flood and the fibers were fewer, and long & rectangular, more cartoon like I guess. It seemed to be lecturing me with its finger, annoyed, then returned and started waving at me. I saw weird and goblinoid faces which seemed to reappear. Then I was given short life review, where I saw myself from different angles, this time I looked more confident, less bedeviled than the life review I had in my first flood. I was not cringing to actually see myself this time either. It showed me that I needed to look after my elderly mother better, and not push my relatives away based on petty peeves, while even though they can irk me, still mean the best. There were some periods where I felt just pure melancholy, like a feeling of eternal desolation mixed with depressing mundanity, combined with visions of dour dreary landscapes, but these were passing. What I am getting from these periods (which were strong in my last flood) is that I am stubborn to change, yet bored/fed up with my current situation but want to sit on the fence still. I think iboga was showing me my own internal dissatisfaction with how I was not willing to move on, be brave, do the work, and try new things. Which, talking about not moving on, I asked iboga about the truth with the girl at work that I could not get over, and I got my ass kicked hard. This sequence started with a vision of a 'block' being removed from my mind/head, and I suddenly realized that I was never considering the option that she was simply not interested in me, due to my pride & regret for not being confident enough to show up to lunch with her...twice in the past. Indeed, I knew this was an option deep down, but thanks to my self-pity and self-delusion, I refused to accept it, despite being told more than once by her. She would continue to 'flirt'/get my attention at parties, not because she liked me anymore, but because I hurt her, and she really didn't like me. Basically, she is not the girl for me, and my attraction/obsessiveness was ego driven and self centered. So iboga really was pissed at me since I couldn’t work this out myself! It showed how people really saw me differently than I saw myself, people at work, including her, and how my behavior was coming close to costing me my job. It was remarkably humbling, to see how other people really see you. Being a recovering alcoholic w. ADHD, developing and maintaining an inflated sense of self, separate from reality is like a coping mechanism if you are not spiritually fit, and I could see that I was still lacking!! Thank you iboga. There were other character defects I was shown which were painful, that are a bit personal for me to put down here, but I'm grateful that I was able to see them in the light. I saw how defects from my mom and dad were passed onto me, by no real fault of their own, since they inherited their parents problems etc..., but that I can still overcome them with work. Exhausted, I was finally able to get up, hugging my sitter/sponser and let out a deep purging cry & sob which released a ton of energy, it felt amazing to let let it all out, as if the iboga had scraped all that crap out of my mind and deposited it to be released. After this ordeal, iboga reassured me that it is ok, that I needed to go through all that. Since then I have made changes, thanks to the insight received, meditating again, working my recovery program better, setting goals. Making plans with my girlfriend. Its really a huge relief to have seen through the confusion, and very humbling to see how long it took to get there due to my pride and self delusion. Its still going to take some time to get over my low self esteem completely, but I am working on it through honesty,integrity, taking on more responsibility and not taking life & myself so seriously.. being more in the moment. Also have 40g of root bark that I have been microdosing on the last week, 1g each for 4 days. Going good so far. I can also see why they use iboga for infertility back in africa! ;-) Thankfully, I have come across a fantastic practical meditation technique that I wanted to share, that I find is very effective. The guy sounds like Howard Stern, and looks a bit like him too :-), but don't let that put you off. His book is called 'real meditation for real alcoholics' which is worth a look, but the actual meditations & 'pep talks' are in audio form, and downloadable free on his site from the right hand side 4 bullet points: http://stepelevencomesalive.blogspot.com/ Even if you are not in a 12 step program, these practical day to day spiritual principles & meditations work, if you work them.
Hi lane_drifts! Thank you so much for sharing! It sounds like you really got a lot from this flood. I am very happy for you! I am also glad you reported that psychic. You may save some others from going through what you did. Keep up the good work and feel the glow, friend! roxine
Thank you roxine! And same to you! Been microdosing on rootbark, and the meditations & prayers have *really* been helping like a 1-2 punch. Found that 0.5g of rootbark a day is the sweetspot for me. Just enough to not feel effects too much, but enough to keep me focused.