Hello Ibogaine.club!

You can call me Ob.  I have been looking for something for the last several years, something significant, I don't know what, but my intuition says I have found something here.

I am young and successful.  Yet unhappy.  I own a small business which is thriving.  I always thought once I made it out of the poverty and instability I grew up in, I would find happiness.  However, this has not been the case.

Now that I have reached a pinnacle in my career, I am left with emptiness.  The empty space used to be filled by my drive to better my situation in life by: studying hard in college, completing a prestigious graduate program, getting the 'ideal' job. 

Now I am in a nihilistic existential crisis.

I have always manipulated my consciousness with various substances, when I was young it was for self exploration.  Somewhere along the line that changed, no more Phish concerts or 'shroom trips while camping with good friends talking philosophy.  I started drinking to excess, often, too often.  Then came coke, speed, rx painkillers, benzos, and most recently heroin.  I am filling the void in the most negative way possible.

Right now I am managing life... somehow..., I put on my mask every day and run my business, I fool everyone, family, colleagues, friends think I am on the perfect path, life is great.  I have a big secret.  

I have not had any alcohol for several months, but I will fall off the drug tightrope I am walking sooner then later, and I have a long long way to fall.  I am not physically addicted to heroin, or oxycodone or speed, but my frequency of use has been increasing, my psychological addiction will turn physical real soon.  I need help.  I want true happiness.

So I come here searching for several things, a mental "reset," to stop my self-destructive behavior, and most importantly, I want to find my lost spirituality.   

I hope I have found the right place.

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georgena92· 30 Aug 2026

Every riddled will be solved and nothing gained will dissolve. There are no magic bullets but there are infinite magic arrows. Every question has an answer and the mother and father of creation thrive with the mastery of humor and love knowing and creating the grand paradox of everything. ob said... "So I come here searching for several things, a mental "reset," to stop my self-destructive behavior, and most importantly, I want to find my lost spirituality." ---Well shit it's good you're here than because those needs are Iboga's modus operendi. Your on target a bull's eye!

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