Iboga just kicked my ass - bad trip

hi, sorry to hear you had a difficult time. it has been said before that sub flood doses can be problematic. i can say from personal experience that it works like this: there are powers inside you that will fight the iboga and at lower doses iboga will not be able to over power them.  it seems that at lower doses yet those powers are not threatened and hence they don't launch an attack. they rather hide, because once recognised they stand no chance. so it is these half way high doses which threaten them enough to put up a fight, they scare the shit out of you because the iboga scares the shit out of them. they have to put up the big show, even at the risk at coming out of the hiding. or maybe they don't even have a choice, they are being dragged out and they just show their true nature. well, so i would say that at a higher dose they would not have a chance. the iboga would empower you, give you the strength to take YOUR space. it is yours to take, your home, your power. it is waiting for you to take it. having said that, sleep over it, see what your gut feeling tells you, you'll know what to do when the time has come, i'm sure about that. about a sitter, be sure to find someone who already walked the path and can keep the space as they say. you wouldn't want your sitter to panic when you battle your daemons for hours.. come to think of it - who is up for that anyways? well, some are take care and good luck!

Hiya brother, I was able to find my first ever post which reminded me so much of your experience.  What Mo said is so on target I can't say much else.  http://jojogaine.club/index.php?topic=449.msg4512#msg4512 Less is More Greetings everyone I have been a regular guest for about 3 months now but this is the first time I have had a reason to join or post.  I very much admire and appreciate the empathy and kindness that this group provides, it is a model for how forums should run.  I have been researching jojoga for around 4 years now off and on but not until last Saturday did I partake of the sacrament.  To preface the undertaking I must say that I am a 29 year old 185 pound male that lives almost exclusively off of raw organic food, I also consume a lot of medicinal herbs (not ganja more on the lines of milk thistle, eleuthero, astralagus, chinese licorice and the like). So on with the event well I was not going for a flood dose just a slightly large tester of 3.3g of RB in capsule form along with 4 organic enzyme pills.  That broke down to 7 capsules of "0" RB and 4 Garden of Life enzyme pills.  Let me say I didn't expect that much.  I made a rather large fire and was listening to West African music on my I-pod (the link that was given previously for all the Bwiti downloads no longer works) about 30 minutes in on a clear night I noticed the moon getting brighter and almost calling me to look at it, a couple minutes later I noticed the most profound by far body buzzes and feelings of absolute bliss it somehow reminded me of my old days of smoking a spliff of kief.  This unmistakable bliss lasted for about 20 minutes.  During this time I noticed my legs were shimmering as if they were going to sleep but I had an inclination to throw more wood into the fire.  Upon getting on my feet from the hammock that I had been sitting in, I noticed I could only marginally walk, I staggered over and got some wood to throw in.  Every piece of wood made an amazing exact design that had direct personalization to myself.  Then I laid back in the hammock at this point a thought would appear then a question and then a precise answer, this lasted for about 30 minutes.  During this time I was given tremendous insight into the workings of many things and also quite a few entreprenurship ideas but I must say I cannot recall those revelations.  It was around this time that I saw clearly a figure, with my eyes closed, somewhat menacing but altogether protective of the earth who was the darkest of skin and had dreadlocks penetrating all throughout the earth, this did not last long but the memory stands out to me.  It would be later intuited that this was indeed some form of the iboga spirit. This was the time when a sudden and immediate need to purge came about, I ran inside (my mistake) and let go, I would later find out that if I would have released the sacrament back to the earth that it would have been far more beneficial.  At this point I am in some serious pain and dry heaving like crazy.  Also the lights were going nuts with all sorts of staggering and literally scaring the shit out me so I turned them off right away.  Then I just laid down and went over a lot of difficult thoughts and I noticed myself keep thinking oh my God I had no idea how potent this stuff is.  I have heard it said many many times that it is the strongest and holiest of plants but that doesn't even begin to tell how much more strong it is than your thoughts can even concieve of.  Sheer mind boggling how only 3.3 g of RB yes that's RB knocked my socks off more than my 5 times with ayahuaca.  Quite frankly it kicked the living daylights out of me.  I feel a subtle sense of being re born. Over the day and a half since the session I have been almost completely bed ridden with some serious nausea and today I woke up with a severe migraine (I have gotten migraines since I was 7) have eaten very little and whatever water I drink I pee right out in under an hour.  Can someone tell me if I did something wrong here?  I can't even bring myself to believe taking 25 g of RB if just 3.3 did this to me.  If you cross the rubican of a flood dose is it somehow a much more nurturing experience?  I had hoped that Iboga could cure my migraines so is this probably only possible if I go all the way? I'm still recovering but slowly I can now get up and walk but can't do much more than that.  The migraine is truly painful and probably the worst I have ever had.  I was planning on having the flood in a month or so with a caretaker but I have been told (intuition or iboga spirit I thing they have melded into one) that I need to more thoroughly prepare with excercise and herbs. Another thing I'd like to mention is that the RB powder glistened and sparkeled it was breathtaking when I opened up the package to see it clearly suggest it's value as the holiest of holies of sacraments.  I feel like a real light weight I don't know how to express how much this root schooled me. Thank you, Ibo Panacea

I'm sure it will give you what you are looking for.  If you know clearly your intentions and what you want the Iboga to help you to accomplish, it will do so.  People have the most issues, IMO, when they don't know coherently and precisely what they want out of the experience...same goes with any entheogen but mainly with Iboga.  I'm not saying you didn't already know how you wanted to use this divine tool of spiritual transformation, but maybe now it has given you a clearer idea of what you want to resolve.  I am supremely confident in Iboga, then again I worship it so it is very subjective.  But that being said you are clearly (to me at least) a kind hearted, good quality soul.  I'm sure Iboga is compatible it is just a matter of getting on good terms for a bright future and long lasting relationship.

Yeah it sounds like your ego-defense systems felt extremely threatened and were doing whatever they could to fight with the iboga, you need to flood the system and let iboga kick the shit out of your ego and leave him as a mere child, hiding shell shocked in the recesses of your mind. Cool story though, sounds like a valuable learning experience.

Sometimes just doing medium sized doses daily will lead to effects like this. People often ignore or underestimate fatigue. It does not necessarily have to be from lack of sleep or nutrition - it can be mental fatigue as well. What goes up must come down, it will not always be rosy. What it sounds like to me is just that: a couple real good experiences where you scratched the surface and got somewhat familiar with the material, and then as mo said, it showed you its teeth. Were you to have taken all these smaller episodes as one big flood, you would have likely gone through the entire gamut of emotions that you did, only all within a concentrated period. Iboga is a healing tool by its very nature. In order to heal we must have a wound, no? Looking at those wounds is intense and scary, but iboga is a holy gift to help us through that. I am sorry you had a bad experience but I am equally confident you will learn from this as well. Blessings, Cal

Thank you for all your responses! It's great to have you respond and give me heart. As you can imagine, it's been an angst ridden day but I meditated and had a big heart-to-heart with my Mum who now knows about what I did, as well as a whole bunch of other things from my past.  I finally decided to be in a resourceful state and strong, and that's sorted me out a treat.  I'm listening to uplifting music and I'm content again and Iboga is caressing very gently in my brain.  I can believe that this happened for a reason.  It's a tough lesson but hopefully one that will make me grow and regain control of my life. Yes, it certainly was problematic Mo I totally get what you are saying about the dose issue, and when so many people have succeeded, I can believe it can be done.  It's going to take a lot of courage to get back on that bicycle. This is absolutely true in my case brother.  I did not know how deep and far my fears went.  Those problems and feelings have been buried and hidden away for years and they are so well hidden that I had a general intent for my general fears - very vague and nondescript.  This experience has shown me what those MFking problems look like and how strong they are in leading my mind.  Next time, God willing, I'll smash them out of my life.  My intent is now a lot clearer. My question now is this.  I felt like two parts of my soul were sliding up and down against each other and I was looking at my mind splitting in two.  My mind's defence was that I was going to go irreversibly mad - a bloody good strategy when you are remembering vegetables in straight jackets.  How many people do actually end up in a mental hospital?  The answer I'm looking for in none Thanks again, your support is truly appreciated

I know everyone else has given awesome, constructive advice, but I will point out that chocolate--both the cacao and the sugar--makes you crash, emotionally. It's a high, and essentially, you mixed drugs. Next time, do a fast beforehand or eat very cleanly and lightly, set a tone of sacredness (no unplanned dosing!!!). Also, I find that it improves my trips immensely to sexually abstain for as long as possible before a trip. Hope this helps.

Only do FULL FLOOD, with TA, you never know if you are FULL... so I prefere TA Freebase. or microdose, but no SUB-Flood, great wording, I will be using it nowon. xJox

People need to learn that the reason they have a negative experience sometimes, is because they have issues.  To deal with an issue, you have to confront it.  The reason most people don't confront them is fear, but letting go of the fear and learning and growing from the experience, is the only way to go.  Life is duality, always good and bad, positive and negative.  Everything has it's cycles, and so the more you fight changes, the harder it is to change and go with the flow.  When you can't be flexible, change what isn't working, you experience problems.  The longer and heavier the issues, the harder they are to treat and beat..  Psychedelics in general often like to pull out some teaching that seems negative to us, because we just can't understand exactly our problem, or that we have them, and our only wish is to make it stop.   The thing is you can't make it stop, until it wears off, or you search your heart and soul to sort it out.  This becomes easier with time, practice and good healthy rituals.  Like the saying goes, try, try again...  When you fall of that horse, you gotta get back on, be better equipped and learn why you fell the first time.  Also, a full flood definitely takes you through the whole range of emotions and the first time you crack your head open, you will experience the positive and negative, usually in a way where you can drop the fear after you confront it, and then you get a bunch of the growth and understanding from it.  Iboga, though, definitely gives a lot of visions that can be confusing or seemingly unrelated to you, but you have to open your mind to interpretation and how everything relates to you and your space in the universe..

^^ Wasn't it Terrence McKenna who said something to the effect of: "If you haven't ever had a bad trip, you're not taking enough."

Hi guys, I think bad trips are NOT GOOD. They give you PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Full flood Iboga gets the garbage out of the mind without consequences. In almost all the posts I talk about this, strong full flood so there is no EMOTIONAL reaction, just the mind... roxine_writes

Now I've had a few days to reflect upon this, in my opinion and after my experience, I would say that my bad trip has been useful because I am committed to resolving my issues and doing an Iboga flood.  If I had abandoned Iboga after my bad trip, then it would have been a waste, but I feel that this bad trip has been a part of the healing process for me.  It has brought to the surface my fears - they are more easily accessible and out in the open.  I was ignoring my hidden fears before, pretending they weren't there and couldn't identify them clearly.  This bad trip has made me more serious about my preparation and respect for the power of Iboga.  I am no longer blindly running into a flood experience after having listened to other people's reviews of miraculous transformations, I am consciously tackling and facing my daemons fully informed and aware of what I embark on.  For that, I am grateful. If it was an isolated experience, with no commitment to a programme of healing or improvement, as a recreational activity, then I would agree that it would create problems. However, in the context of my healing journey, I have found it a useful and constructive experience.  It has made me less arrogant, more committed, more conscious and aware.

Hi Aveng, I once took about 1/4 of a detox dose and was in a  bad mood - shouldn't have done it but did not know better.  I was sick at it was not pleasant at all.  You would never think that taking a smaller amount would cause more problems than a regular dose.  I don't really see what you did was bad or arrogant but more like a normal thing to do to get to know the plant.  I take it your doing it for other reasons than addiction. Wishing you the best,   cinderpath

Hi cinderpath, You are right, I am not doing Iboga for any addiction problems.  I am pleased to say that any addictions I did have in the past (cannabis) I managed to kick by myself.  My initial intent for using Iboga was to beat my fear of public speaking (partly brought on by messing up big time whilst super high on skunk).  Like many fears, it is irrational and having a detrimental affect on my life, and however I mentally justify it, I cannot actually convince my mind not to act like a scared rabbit caught in headlights.  After my 'bad trip' (I'm not quite sure this is the right term for it anymore - I want to say 'discovery trip') my intent has changed to 1) conquering my fears, and 2) living up my potential.  That trip clearly showed me that every I do passes through the filter of my fears.  When times are good, these are hidden away in the recesses and I do well, but when times get tough, all my decisions are distorted by my fears. I have carried on microdosing and finding it a slow but certain process.  The most noticeable result is that I have had absoltely honest discussions with my Mum in ways that I had never done before.  This may not seem significant to some, but the ability to get close and show my love to my mother is a big step.  I have just taken another 300mg of TA today.  I am building up to a flood.  Next on the schedule is Kambo (KP has convinced me!). I should also say that berry36 helped me a lot by sending me a meditation with Barry Long called 'How to stop thinking'.  Spending an entire 52 minutes listening through that absolutely turned around the negative energy and brought me a deep deep sense of peace and gentleness.  Once I stopped thinking, and re-established an internal balance, I felt the Iboga start working positively with me again.  I really really recommend anybody to 'stop thinking' as part of their preparation for Iboga.

it's so telling that you feel you have to defend having spoken honestly to your mum for the first time as significant! imho that is what this is all about. when some say that the initiations bring you in contact with your ancestors, they do not use a metaphor. you are the last in a unique lineage which burdened you with all that it had to give. or is it rather a gift in disguise? through the teachings of iboga, ayahuasca and other plants i came to see that i was/still am cut off from my ancestors through my ego. i became aware of it's cruel rule over any inspiration that rose naturally out of my history, denying it in hate, killing it on spot. 'not that, not that'. an insane tendency to want to define itself in it's own image! as if it was totally free! the lies and true monstrosity of of the ego are amazing really. i would not have believed or really understood it before i got a glance, which i am deeply thankful for. but, the plants are on the case, and they are kicking some asses - seriously! all good for those who come voluntarily! again and again - we need it

Sounds good man, but why do you feel like you have to laboriously build up to a flood dose? Are you sure this isn't just your fears delaying what will defeat them? I don't want to tell you how to do this but personally I just jumped straight into the flood with huge success.