introduction from TS
hey all,
just joined this site after discovering it earlier this week: clearly this is a site full of incredible people and valuable knowledge, and i'm really fired up to be here.
started investigating Iboga in 2009, after my 4th year on methadone maintenance. here we are in 2013, and its kind of scary to think that i've been on methadone for over 8 years.
i've looked at a few of the treatment centers in Mexico and Costa Rica, but the price tag is just beyond my reach, especially after self-paying for my methadone for these 8 years has cost me over $40,000.
this past december my marriage ended, and looking back I can admit that being on methadone played a major part in why my marriage failed. the constant fatigue and lack of passion (both for life and for sex) made my ex-wife hate my methadone treatment, and she just couldn't take it. fortunately, it was the push I needed, and I decided to start tapering down January 1st.
I've learned a lot about the clinic system here in the U.S. over these past 8 years, and I have guest-dosed all over the country having traveled for work for many years. so I knew that when I decided to start tapering, I was going to do it on my own, without clinic intervention: and thats exactly what I've done. because I have "earned" 2 weeks of take-home medication at a time, I am able to taper like this: on my pickup day, I face-dose at window 150mg, and I receive 13 bottles of 150mg to take home. so during the 13 days I am away from the clinic, I taper down myself and save the extra liquid.
I'm happy to say that this week marked a big milestone for me: I have reached 70mg a day. Of course being on methadone at a high dose like I have been for so many years, it was easy to take the top 30% off of my dose - it really was all just a state of mind thing. If I start to feel truly sick (more than mild discomfort lasting 24 hours) then I will take extra, and stop tapering for a few days.
I would not recommend a self-taper for everyone. Its the right thing for me because I truly do want to be off this medication, so much so that I do not have any problems staying disciplined about how much I taper or abusing the extra methadone. 4 years ago, while taking my regular 150mg daily dose, I had someone give me approximately 1000 10mg methadone pills, so I have already abused methadone in the attempt to "feel something", at one point taking around 700mg in a 24 hour period. I didnt feel anything other than my body telling me that what I was doing was very dangerous.
I am continuing my self-taper, my goal being that once I am down to 30-40mg a day, I will have enough medication stock-piled to completely leave the clinic. around the same time, I plan to do my first flood with Iboga. and thats what I'm here to learn more about. having experienced LSD and mushrooms many times in my late teens and twenties, I have felt that Iboga was a miracle medicine since I first learned of it in 2009. my tentative plan, for the time being, is to do my first flood somewhere on the east coast, where i live, with friends who are able to keep me safe and healthy through the experience. i do have some anxiety about my heart and will definitely need to get an EKG done before hand, to make sure I can handle it, and I pray that I can.
thanks for having me here, i look forward to getting to know everyone and sharing in the wealth of knowledge and experience.
TS