Community / General Discussion
M
mistyfalcon17
15d ago

Post-flood Emptiness... *Too* empty? HELP.

Though this is about Salvia, I think the Iboga experience and after-effects are very similar. Many parallels can be drawn, and perhaps some of you can relate to my situation. I've recently discovered an extremely powerful method of administration of Salvia- Tea. Its power is really up there with Iboga, Ayahuasca. It strips away layers of self-consciousness. Being under the spell of Salvia feels a lot like being under the spell of Iboga in a lot of ways. It grounds you and makes you face your own bullshit and phoniness, but in a gentle, good-humored way. My first tea experience was life-changing. It was like a rebirth- The next days were amazingly real. I wrote this experience report about it: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/670417-Salvia-Tea-Experienced-Smooth-Subtle-and-Powerful Then I had a mushroom trip, which was light-years more lucid, positive, grounded, meaningful and powerful than all my previous mushroom trips. I felt like I had truly "arrived," but in a selfless, dynamic way. This feeling lasted for days. Until I decided to drink Salvia tea *again.* Quit while you're ahead, right? Not me. I broke my own rules: I had emphasized to myself the importance of taking it *slow* with Salvia, and using moderation. Taking little sips. For some reason, I took a few gulps from the cup itself. Then a friend walked in the room with some weird personal things to say. I was not interested, but I conversed anyway. I directed my visionary consciousness to her, and not inward. I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but something bad happened. Spiritually. I feel like I completely lost all the progress I had made in the week prior, and actually in the many years prior to this experience. I feel like I've regressed to 3rd grade mentality--susceptible to the dysfunctional energies of others, and with almost no conceptualizations about life, the universe and everything. This is very unusual for me. I'm historically an active, sharp thinker. I feel dumb. Spaced out. Like I've lost a large piece of myself, a bright, shining, crystalline consciousness connected to an open heart. I feel empty in my mind, empty in my heart, too. Where are my feelings? Where is my drive? Where is my ego? Where is my power? When I said my mushroom trip was powerful, that also meant that *I* was feeling immense amounts of balanced, sturdy power, and that power continued well after the trip. Now it's gone. No trace. I feel as powerful as a third grader. My mind feels empty, which usually feels great, except now, it also feels devoid of so many wonderful things. Also, my heart. I feel so depressed. Salvia usually doesn't do this to me. Help me. ~RS
0
💬 1 comment
1 Comment
Sign in to join the discussion.
V
vividmeadow80· 15d ago

This too shall pass    All your pain comes from resistance to the present moment. Don't resist the present moment. You are God and always have been, and always will be. Don't identify with anything. It doesn't matter. Dont be attached how you were, are or how you should be. All you have to do is welcome the present moment, and accept it and yourself, and others. There's a big Tolle following building up here - read the Power of Now for an insight. You are God. Understand and revel in your Godliness, accept every part of the present moment and every part of you. Because you are perfect as you are. As you were. As you will be. The you you are now isnt any less beautiful than the you you were. Or the you you will be. Accept yourself and the present moment. All else will automatically follow.

0