Prayer II (my update)

"Just want to say THANKS to EVERYONE in this forum for all the support and advise!!  You all are good people!! Honestly, and that's hard to find...especially on the internet...on a forum.  But This place has been most kind to me and can't explain the thanks I have for you guys.  You know who yall are." Yeah we know who YOU are. I am terminally proud and deeply honored, on this auspicious occasion, to present to you, the one, the only,  Mr. Calvin A. Quendi. Stand up and take a bow!  Come on stand up.  Come on and stand the fuck up, lest I break my foot on your slacker butt!  This time, I really mean it When I am really grateful for something someone has done, I think it's important to let them know.  Actually, it makes me feel good to do it.  I think it has something to do with dopamine release, the NDMA pathyway and a peculiar mix of mischievous brain chemicals.  Or something like that... goatbouy, sorry to step all over your post.  Seeing you kind words about the Forum got me thinking.  Dis here Forum been berry, berry good to me, too.  Just had to let a certain somewhat dismembered person know that. OK, GB/Booms, seriously.  I believe in positive vibes and thoughts, too.  Please know you have mine.  Please know they are full of love, hope and joy. May the antidote for fear, sadness and depression work its healing magic on your body, mind, heart and soul. guenevere_walks

Cal is the Man!!  After all he's the one to bring me to this here forum, otherwise I would probably be in a different position right now... And thank you guenevere_walks.

Thanks for the kind words - but it's a team effort for sure. It's all about building something, and each of plays an important part. Good luck to you goatboy, will keep you in mind and send positive vibes your way. These days I stumble around with it, but prayer is still a part of my daily life and I will keep you and your safe journey in my thoughts. Be safe, take care and best wishes to you!

Ohferheavenssakeeonmcknight! torrie_learns, if you think you have enough RB, I'm right with ya. Tomorrow night, you, prayers and lighting a candle. It's always, always best to have too much than too little. But if you're going, you're going. Pay your best attention to preparing your body and mind and heart. Set your intention. Have a quiet, clean day. We're here for ya. Love and such, T

Best wishes, good vibes, prayers, and all that!  Hope you find your way to the other side!  Enjoy it, it really is fun, if you look at it that way!

Go Goatboy , Go ! I am hoping that this whole thing goes down as it should .I really tip my hat to you for commitment to getting clean . I am rooting for you . I am sending some good vibes your way also . I hope you flood and have with it the many glorious things that the experience brings with it.  Amen to the journey . The journey never ends .

Nice Eon  I hope you come out from the experience with more hope and  more healing, goatboy.  There is always hope when you have people that think about you and genuinely care for you. Peace brother!

See.  Thanks everyone!!  Now I'm off to get all the final things set and then sit back and experience the fireworks, and see everyone on the other side...(god i hope)

Man , I think it might have worked this time !! I hope that Goatboy is and has had a vivid and smooth journey . I hope that he is finding everything that he needs. He was going to maybe take a total of 40 grams of rootbark that he had converted into a TA extract . He was going to initiate the flood in a short manner  ( the hard and fast method ) as to try to insure a proper flood experience . Like I said earlier , I believe he has achieved this . I might be wrong about this also but i dare to dream . much love and crazy hugs, harvey plex

Well I'm back and unfortunately it did the SAME thing as last time...I don't get it!  I didn't even use the day after nothing happened except for the bad side effects of the first time, ataxia, insomnia, stomach churning.  By day 3 I was in such bad withdrawals I knew that it had not worked.  Why?? 1) Is it possible that my body chemistry is just immune to this drug and method??  Has anyone ever heard of this? 2) I may have possibly left it in the oven to evaporate a little too long and burned off the good alkaloids...possible I guess Well I am deeply disappointed once again...Thanks to everyone trying to help me again, but I just don't get it right now.  It's rather depressing, especially with how much money, time, and effort put into this.  Although my hopes have been lowered now, and I don't know what to do anymore, I am thinking about giving this ONE last shot, the HCL way, but it's so dam expensive that way and I'm about tapped.  If anyone has any advice or can help me in any way please contact me, for now I am desperate more than even before.  And making a fool of myself to others (at least I'm TRYING as hard as I can tho right?).  I'm really exhausting my sitter, myself, and feel horrible about putting a potentially good remedy to waste, as it's done NOTHING positive still to this point.  I just don't get it anymore.  But I HAVE to get clean by this summer if I even want to have people/family/friends on my side to help at this point.  Help?

torrie_learns, do not despair.  What you are seeking is good.  Good for you and for all the other people and organisms you come in contact with.  We all want this (addiction interruption) to happen.  It will. When you are ready to start work again, it might be a good thing to state where you are at with respect to each and every vitamin, supplement, medication, etc. Plus, are you REALLY sure it did not work?  Not even a little?  Sometimes after-effects of iboga can mimic withdrawal.  Have you noted any change in your reactions to sub?  To benzos? Perhaps there is something unusual physiological going on and the HCl would be best for you.  Having a Forum to ask has got to increase the chances of getting an accurate answer  --  it's just figuring out which one(s) it(they) is(are).  Right?(Right?) Just don't forget, if you want to continue your journey to freedom, there are many here who will gladly assist you.  You say "I HAVE to get clean"  --  well, I expect that together we can find a way. Yer Pal, guenevere_walks

"Plus, are you REALLY sure it did not work?  Not even a little?  Sometimes after-effects of iboga can mimic withdrawal.  Have you noted any change in your reactions to sub?  To benzos?" Yes I am sure, and I was eating alot of good foods last week and did much for preparations.  On my third day, yesterday, I ended up having to use just as much as average just to ease the dope-sickness.  And didn't even REALLY get high...I was catious at first too as I am aware that if you use after doing that, your tolerance could be different.  Mine wasn't, and I can attest to that for SURE.  unfortunately.  And right now, this forum and some of the people on it are all I really got left (going this route at least), as far as advice and everything else.  I appreciate all the help I've already received but still in square one it seems.. Oh and also, I DON'T take subs.  Just FYI.  they make me sick.  and hate methadone also...Only SAO do the trick for me

I"m sorry to hear of your disappointing results.  It seems that you may need a more purified version of Iboga, rather Ibogaine Hydrochloride(Hcl).  I do realize it is a very expensive option, especially when you combine it with a few days stay at a clinic.  You may have to go the pharmaceutical route in the mean time...do what you can for the moment.  Have hope! I wish you peace and continuing hope on your journey.

Maybe you're like me and just need a heavy dose.  I ate 2.5g of TA HCl from Sara my first time, and it was definitely a good dose.  I am only about 72kg, roughly, so it's definitely higher than 25mg/kg, and it will definitely knock out any withdrawal.  Seems about 3-600 bucks for a real dose, from most places..

Yeah something, somewhere isn't right...you should have been floored from the doses we talked about. I'm scratching my head too. As Eon and Fallout said, I think it's a good idea to start looking into pro-grade medicine. Hcl or a TA that has been prepped by a lab. I'm sorry to hear of this disappointment bro - I know how crappy you must feel about this, but you are still trying and reaching out, and that surely counts for something. I think if it were ME in those shoes, I would dig for some ibogaine and go that route. Best wishes bro!

Oh, one other thing.  Did you puke it up?  ~et