Preparing for flood soon- will it be as challenging as my ayahuasca experiences?

Hi freeelk First off, I would highly recommend kambo. Can't say enough good things about it - had nothing but good experiences with it - I love that frog! You should head over to the kambo forum to read up on it. I recommend this thread: http://kambo.me/smf/index.php?topic=160.0 I've done Aya 3 times and never had visuals - just lots of purging. I just attempted an iboga flood a few weeks ago and had a hellish night of purging instead of visions. If I were you, I would start slow - try micro dosing. Then kambo with larger (but still sub flood) doses of Iboga. Try not to get frustrated and disappointed. Not everyone has the same path with these plants. You may also want to consider microdosing Aya - there is some info on this in this forum

not rushing it, it seems you have the timing right. i think that you should feel in your gut that this experience is for you and only then go for it. if it is right for you, the time will come. prepare well, read up, check all the advice given, there is lots you can find here if you dig in. btw, do not go for 3 or 4 times the recommended flood dose! take care of yourself!

I know, its really disappointing having weak and unsatisfying trips, but the higher I go the closer I get to having a terrifying "oh sh*t what have I done" type trips where I way overdo it and can't go back. After telling them my situation, the place I got my iboga from recommended 3g of TA as my dose.  Not sure what to take but I dont wanna waste it because I was too scared to just take it all at once considering my body refuses to react to anything unless its in significantly large doses. Would like to order more but funds are pretty low at the moment and iboga is far from cheap..

Just putting my rubber stamp behind the advice offered already (if that helps).  Both mo and Entho Newbie offer very prudent and grounded advice every time I have seen them post.

Great thanks for the replies. Are negative feelings/bad trips usually common with iboga? Not necessarily bad trips but maybe unpleasant parts of the trip that seem to manifest eventually before the trip is over. I can handle that if there's good parts as well, I just don't want to be in pure terror the whole time. I might have more issues than alot of people that give me negative feelings when taking alot of drugs, but does that mean iboga will completely tear me apart and be resentless with me? I really need a re-wiring and a resetting of my brain to put it simply, but im just apprehensive I guess because I just don't know how brutal iboga might be to me.

You should check out the Iboga journals section and see how varied people's experiences with Iboga are. I haven't flooded but the sense I get is that everyone at some time or other is shown negative things about their life but its not done in a cruel way, simply showing you the truth. Don't approach this as Iboga vs you - you are a team You should approach a flood like a warrior - prepare yourself mentally and physically (again there are great tips for doing this on this forum). I've also heard that if you don't like what you're being shown then blinking your eyes can change the channel so you do have some control over the experience - its not like dropping some bad acid and you're stuck till the hellish experience is over.

i was torn to bits in my first flood, you can find my report here in the forums. it was necessary, but had i known what i went for.. anyways, before the flood i knew that it is for me, so .. go with your gut feeling, but prepare, be ready, feel it.

I was also wondering, the TA i got is probably about a year and a half old, but it has been unopened and kept in my freezer the entire time.  I was reading that ibogaine goes bad after awhile?  Just wondering if it is still good..

Hi freeelk, Yeah, it should still be good.  I would maybe crush it up and re-cap (if it is capped) it or it may take longer to hit... this is my experience. roxine

Well I've given this a lot of thought lately, and I've come to the conclusion that the only way out of this nightmare in my life is to go to hell and back.  Its obvious that the negative influence in my life wont let up on its grip on me, as every single month year after year theres something waiting around the corner to destroy me somehow.  Constant bad luck, constant negative people/events/situations and non stop failures in the most ridiculous ways keep happening to me, and i'm tring so hard to fix it but it just wont go away. I can feel it everyday weighing me down, I can feel it in my body and my heart the twisted, messed up energy that's causing chaos in my life.  And every time I trip I go to a place of terror and pain and negativity- no matter what the set/setting are or how I prepare.  I think something is telling me that its ready for me, and it wants to take me to hell when i'm ready to go that deep, because why would I never have a peaceful ayahuasca trip?  Its always the same, which is why i'm afraid to take it too deep.  And I know an iboga flood is what I need to just reset a lot of bad programming in my head and help me to see the world in a new light, but i'm terrified because I know what might be in store.  Is there any way out of this?  Something tells me I just need to do it but i'm not sure if i'm ready for it, but then again i'll probably never be ready so I just need to get it out of the way because I feel like my life depends on it.  At the rate i'm going in life I'm sensing death might not be far away if I don't destroy this curse that's got ahold of me.  I'm scared.  I just don't know what to do right now but maybe I just need to stand up and fight this, which is why i'm trying to build my strength up spiritually but its not going fast enough.  Definitely a bit lost in life right now..

hi freeelk - sounds like you're fighting yourself with this internal dialog. Part of you wants to do a flood and part of you is scared. Sounds like a classic case of your true nature clashing with your ego. Anyone who is not afraid of doing a flood is an idiot. The trick is to not let the ego driven fear overwhelm you and confuse you. I can almost hear your ego begging for mercy in your post. Listen to your heart and trust it, then decide if you should flood. We all feel a bit lost in life at times - its OK, its normal. Take a deep breath and try not to let the weight of all that has happened to you knock you over otherwise the crap from your life is going to drive you. Did you ever do kambo? If not, I really really really recommend it. You might be surprised how you feel after a healthy dose of kambo. Have you seen these Eckhart Tolle vids? Watch them a few times, I found them very helpful to give me some distance from my crap. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PCSe2cqY_w http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnUywv80CZY Remember, Iboga is not out to get you (neither is Ayahuasca for that matter). Sometimes they make you purge and show you things you don't like as part of the purification/healing process. You and iboga are a team. Before you go into battle, think of yourself as a great warrior and Iboga as your General then... charge......!! A positive attitude is really important even if you're feeling overwhelmed.

Rez - I can identify with lost, and for sure I can identify with this fear you have been bearing with you: particularly concerning psychedelics. My opinion is that you have grazed the surface of the deepest part of yourself - this singularity where each man meets Himself - and the terror of it is overwhelming. Many people respond in this way, many more people never even get that far...they never explore that deeply. Surely these people are the impetus for 'ignorance is bliss'. But, is it? You want to Know what you already Know, man. Or what you deeply suspect you know. And to be absolutely confusing on the matter, You DO Know already...   Not to come off too presumptuous, I just resonate so strongly with so many of your words that I feel like we share this commonality, the same 'shade' of abject terror waiting in the wings, around the very next turn - which we Have to take - and it wants to kill us in the most ridiculous ways, eat us alive. Maybe it does want that. But -  there is a YOU in you - that you have only met in passing, and that fellow is who you are looking for, yes? Maybe? Iboga is the only and I mean only tool so specifically geared and nano-crafted to help us achieve this - and do so in the most extraordinary fashion. It is not at all like anything else. It is only ever compared to other psychedelics because that is all we have to begin to compare it with, but it is peerless in its gifts and abilities. I swear man - even when you feel fear during a flood, it is vastly different than losing your grip - via forced ego death - on something like ayahuasca or mushrooms, etc...at least so it has been with me, and since I feel so strongly a connection to the frequency you are beaming out - I feel like I have a clear line of sight to share these ideas with you, for you perhaps. THE RIGHT SITTER(S)  - I cannot stress this enough, it is maybe even MORE important than all of your own preparations. No kidding, I have been privy to unbelievable healing iboga/ibogaine sessions. Some for drug detox and others for this kind of 'stuck' feeling so many of us feel at times. It works - as has been shared - with you in ways that nothing else ever has, only going there will reveal this to you but I felt the same call and surely felt immense trepidation before any flood. I am not saying that you won't experience fear, you know as well as I do that we MUST experience this in order to 'fix it'- but I personally never felt a keen relationship with any plant or substance until I did iboga, and I truly understand and believe that a plant can be conscious and beyond this - can be your ally. It is an ally. As has been so compassionately said ' it is not iboga vs you' and it truly is not. This simple mantra may help you far along your journey. I caution you not to make any decisions or any moves which may be motivated by fear, or any other emotion for that matter...this especially in regard to TIME - we see this again and again, especially in addicts, that there is this hurried feel about it all and it must be done NOW etc. Rushing into it is the number one no-no and really the easiest to problem to negotiate. It is our first test. We want to do it and have done for Christ's sake, just get it over with - BE healed, and on the other side of all this. If the only way out is through, then iboga has been called ' earth moving equipment' it can be a bulldozer [with YOU at the controls] there is a strange lucidity about even deep parts of the trance, it is more like dreaming than tripping IMO. You will notice it working in subtle and superimposed ways on your body, things that cannot be quickly 'cleaned up' by cognitive  therapies. I have strong feelings that this may be something very workable for you, please look deeply and carefully at who will be with you - sitter wise. You want two people ideally. I think you will be surprised - then perhaps - astonished at how this all fits together. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this campaign. Bless you and everyone on these boards, it feels good to see the hands reaching out...

Thanks all for the awesome replies, it helps a lot knowing i'm not alone in all of this.  Yes, I truly want to find my real self that's buried somewhere in my mind, as I feel everyday that i'm just living out someone else's life or someone else's programs that have taken me over.  I feel like it wants to fight for its life, and therefore destroy me if it has to in order to protect itself.  I know from the last few times I tripped on ayahuasca that I was frustrated from not going deep enough but when I increase the dose the only thing that changes in the trip is a deeper fear and terror that make me shy away from doing it again. This is why I found iboga.  I felt like this was my ticket to break out of this prison cell I've been trapped in, because nothing else is working (and the frustration and failure is really eating me up).  I need a deep, deep cleansing, and I need to shatter this reality i'm in because it is killing me.  Maybe you're right, iboga is really an ally and I need to see it that way, which is why I think I just need to surrender and let the spirit of the plant just take me where it wants.  If it is terror, then I hope it has enough mercy to bring me out of it a new person and free my mind by time its all done.  I strongly feel this is my only option left in life right now, as everything else is taking me further downwards...  Wish me luck